“You know why so many relationships fail? It’s because one person changes while the other remains the same. Suddenly they are no longer compatible. Growth is a natural process and partners need to grow together or there is no future for them,” I said to my wife, as we were watching a reality TV show about couples and their ‘real life’ problems.
“I don’t agree. If you keep loving each other, it shouldn’t matter,” my wife said, “The problem starts when both or one of the partners fall out of love. Love is the key ingredient, sweetheart.”
“Now, my dear,” I said, keeping my tone light, “You’re being naïve. Love is important too, but it’s not everything. Certainly not the key ingredient. I think that compatibility matters the most. Sometimes even people in love can’t make it work.”
“Okay, oh the wise one,” she said, mocking me, “What do you mean by compatibility, anyway?”
“Well,” I ignored her tone and said, “simply put, it’s when your souls connect.”
“So, do you think we are compatible?” She looked at me, raising her eyebrows. Somehow I had the feeling that no matter what my answer was, I would be condemned.
“I’m not talking about us,” I tried to deflect her question, “I’m just commenting on this couple.” I gestured towards the TV.
“No, really,” she pressed on, “out of curiosity, what do you think?”
“I think we get along well.” I shrugged, hoping she would leave the topic. Alas! No such luck.
“You’re such a bullshitter,” she said, chewing every word, “I can’t imagine anyone getting along with you. You don’t even have any close friends, which speaks a lot.”
“You’re getting worked up over nothing,” Once again I tried to soothe her ruffled feathers. There was no point in making it personal. I didn’t want my off-hand comment to turn into an argument. “Compatibility and love, both are important.” Yet, my attempt at diplomacy did me no good.
“Now, you’re saying what I want to hear,” She sighed, “You know that’s what I hate the most about you. You quickly change your statement as soon as I disagree.”
“What?” I hadn’t noticed any such thing about myself. I avoided conflict, that was true, but it wasn’t really that bad. Was it?
“You never say what you mean. You always try to say what you think I want to hear. As if I’m some child who can’t take an argument.” She was angry, and I wondered how did this conversation went downhill so fast.
For a while, we sat there silently. I didn’t know what else to say. I thought about it and realized that she was right, though. Unwilling to argue with her, I tended to agree with most of the things she said.
“We are not compatible,” she said, at last, “We never were. You have been blind if you ever thought that. The only reason we are still together is because we love each other. Love matters the most.” Her tone was final.
“I love you,” I said, because that was the one thing I had never doubted.
“I know,” She smiled at me, “and I love you too.”
“I know,” I said, smiling, “but we’re not compatible that’s true.” I admitted at last. Her smile had given me courage.
“How much does it matter?” There I was, thinking it would settle the debate when she asked another difficult question. How was I supposed to answer that?
“Only love matters,” I said, without thinking.
“You’re such a bullshitter.” She laughed.
I felt sheepish, because this time too she was right. “You know me well.” I tried to laugh it off. It had sowed the seed of doubt in my heart.
Later that night, I laid in bed unable to sleep, thinking about why we were together. It made little sense when you consider the differences in our personalities. Love was there and maybe she was right, and that was all we needed. But if that was true, why was I restless?
© 2020 Fizza Younis. All Rights Reserved.
Between The Pages Of A Book 